13 Irrational Beliefs
Albert Ellis was the founder of Rational Emotive Behavioural Therapy, which was one of the building blocks for the popular Cognitive Behavioural Therapy approach used widely around the world today.
In his work he identified that the majority of the suffering his clients experienced seemed to be based on them believing one or more of the following statements, all of which are not true and therefore can be considered irrational.
1. I must do well and get the approval of everybody who matters to me or I will be a worthless person.
2. Other people must treat me kindly and fairly or else they are bad.
3. I must have an easy, enjoyable life or I cannot enjoy living at all.
4. All the people who matter to me must love me and approve of me or it will be awful.
5. I must be a high achiever or I will be worthless.
6. Nobody should ever behave badly and if they do I should condemn them.
7. I mustn’t be frustrated in getting what I want and if I am it will be terrible.
8. When things are tough and I am under pressure I must be miserable and there is nothing I can do about this.
9. When faced with the possibility of something frightening or dangerous happening to me I must obsess about it and make frantic efforts to avoid it.
10. I can avoid my responsibilities and dealing with life’s difficulties and still be fulfilled.
11. My past is the most important part of my life and it will keep on dictating how I feel and what I do.
12. Everybody and everything should be better than they are and, if they’re not, it’s awful.
13. I can be as happy as is possible by doing as little as I can and by just enjoying myself.
In my work in sport and performance psychology I see these irrational beliefs pop up often for my clients, and I have certainly caught myself falling into the trap of believe one or more of them myself from time to time!
You’ll notice that these statements are very black and white, rigid and even a little extreme, and therein lies the hint that they are irrational. When we get caught up believing that something MUST happen or MUST be a certain way, we usually box ourselves into black and white thinking. According to Ellis, the emotional distress that these beliefs create for us is largely due to the demand or the must in the statement. For example:
The demand that I or others “must” or “should” be seen in a certain way or act in a certain way.
The consequences I foresee for myself or others who fail to live up to these “musts” or “shoulds.”
The way out of this rigid perspective is to challenge the “musts” in the statement. For example, take belief number one: I must do well and get the approval of everyone who matters to me or I will be a worthless person.
We can challenge this asking ourselves: Is that true? It would certainly be nice to have everyone approval, but is that even possible? And who says I am worthless if someone does not approve of me?
Engaging with curiosity, challenging our assumptions, and asking the all important question of our thoughts: Is that true? Is that helpful? Supports us to break free of the emotional distress these black and white beliefs can cause and allows us to find a more balanced perspective to base our expectations on.
Which of these beliefs stand out to you? If you think one or more of these beliefs could be effecting you in your sport, take some time to consider how you might challenge the black and white nature of that perspective.
Looking for more help? Reach out today to find out how working with a mental performance consultant can help you build high performance beliefs that support you in your goals and well-being.