How can I be more confident?
Sport psychology and performance can seem complex, and in many ways the challenge of understanding the mind’s role in successful performance is multi-faceted. However, you can simplify the benefits of training your mind down to one simple and crucial element of performance: confidence. As athletes and performers we all crave confidence; that quiet calm and certainty that you have prepared as best you can and have a real shot at success.
“How can I be more confident?” is a question I get asked a lot, and it’s a question I tend to respond to with more questions. Make sure to answer these questions for yourself as you read.
Confidence is more about the process than the outcome.
What do you believe confidence is? Is it a trait or a skill?
If we believe that confidence is a trait, something that you are either born with or without, then we are in trouble. That belief system tells us that if we have always struggled with confidence, then we will continue to struggle with confidence because low confidence is essentially part of who we are. This often leads to us trying our hardest to “appear” more confident to others as a solution. Additionally, any experience where we feel unsure or scared or anxious about our performance serves to reinforce this story in our head: “I’m not a confident tennis player/rider/hurler/footballer.”
If we believe confidence is a skill, just like all of the technical skills we learn as a part of our sport, then we can intentionally work on developing our confidence in the same way we would develop other skills: focused and intentional practice. I believe confidence is actually the combination of several mental skills. Each of these skills need to be practiced in order to develop the mental “muscles” to perform them at a consistent high level. This belief system tells us that even if we have historically struggled with confidence, it’s simply because we don’t have strong confidence skills yet. This perspective leads us to really working to understand and improve our confidence at every opportunity.
Are you willing to listen to and challenge your negative self-talk?
Our first confidence skill is to listen to and challenge the internal dialogue that judges us, doubts us, and fears failure. We all have those voices in our head and unfortunately they never completely disappear. They do, however, go from a loud, convincing roar to an unconvincing whisper with practice. We quiet these voices by simply labeling them when they appear and then asking ourselves how we could look at the situation differently. I like to ask myself, how can I be more BOLD, BRAVE, CURIOUS, TRUSTING, or RESOURCEFUL in response to this challenge?
can you committ to practicing confidence regularly?
When we frame our understanding of confidence as a skill, we can see that our confidence '“muscles” will require a lot of reps to both build and sustain strength. We can do confidence reps many different ways! Firstly, by catching and challenging our negative internal dialogue as described above. Secondly, by practicing what I like to call DAILY BRAVERY. This means recognising the things in our every day life that make us a little uncomfortable and challenging ourselves to lean into those things instead of away from them. This might look like facing a difficult conversation with a friend and really seeking to understand their perspective, instead of reacting and avoiding them. Or, it could look like speaking up more and sharing your opinion more often at work. Or, you could push yourself to do something you have always been a bit nervous to do, such as saying yes to a solo in your choir, trying out a new position in your sport, taking on more leadership roles in your team, asking a coach or player you admire for feedback about your performance. The options are endless! Simply notice when you are talking yourself out of something and see if you can talk yourself into it instead.
So, start by checking in with your beliefs and making adjustments as needed. We must view confidence as a skill before we can get anywhere. Then, pay attention to what those internal voices are telling you and be willing to challenge them. Lastly, commit yourself to a regular and intentional practice of confidence by leaning into discomfort at every opportunity. Confidence is something we can enhance and develop within ourselves with strategic effort and practice. It is up to you to put in the work so that you can reap the rewards in your performance.
Wishing you all a fun and growth-filled experience practicing your confidence! Don’t hesitate to contact me with any questions.