I Just Fell off My Horse, Now What?
Today, I fell off a horse.
As all of us in the horse industry know, this is something even the best riders cannot avoid, and yet it is an experience that we are strangely underprepared to deal with mentally. Many of the riders I work with experience a lot of fear associated with falls. Even more common is the tendency to figuratively beat ourselves up after a fall, telling ourselves we are idiots and feeling a whirlwind of embarrassment, shame, self-doubt, and frustration.
The problem is, we don’t know how to manage the fact that we just made a mistake and therefore our emotional self takes over. When our emotions take over, it’s so much harder to learn from what happened and make a plan to do it better next time.
So, here are three steps that will help you manage well in the event of a fall and reduce the negative impact of that fall so that you can learn what you needed to learn and be better the next time.
STEP ONE: Regulate your nervous system.
Our nervous system always gets a little rattled by the shock of fall, no matter how simply or dramatically it occurred. Our internal alarm system has been triggered and our brain and body are now on high alert for danger. What we do in the first moments after a fall are important because it influences how our nervous system reacts. Our goal here is to calm the nervous system as quickly as possible and help yourself feel safe again.
How do we do this?
Focus on your breathing for a minute. Begin to breath through your nose. Slow down your inhale and extend your exhale so that it’s longer than the inhale. A great technique is to count: Inhale for a count of 4, hold for a count of 2, and exhale for a count of 6 always works wonders for me. This sends a message to the brain that everything is a-okay and helps us switch back a calmer focus.
Smile! This also sends a message to the brain that we are safe. As a bonus, smiling also increases our pain tolerance. So, if you hit the ground a little hard, smiling will help you cope.
STEP TWO: Get curious about what happened
What’s key here is that we do this in a non-judgmental way. It’s not about labeling what happened as bad, or stupid, or embarrassing. It’s about understanding what didn’t work so that we can understand how to fix it. In this instance I had let my balance get ahead of the horse in the take-off stride, so when he changed his mind last minute about jumping the jump, my forward momentum pulled me out of the tack. Because I clearly understand what had happened and why, I was then able to think about how I wanted to do it differently.
Visualize how you want to do it next time in positive terms (what you WILL do, or WANT to have happen). In this case I imaged myself riding up to the jump, staying in balance with the horse and letting him jump up ahead of me. I felt myself staying tall and anchored in the tack with a strong core. I pictured riding encouragingly to the jump and letting my horse choose when to leave the ground.
Rehearse this visualization a few times before you re-attempt.
STEP THREE: Make a clear, simple plan
It’s very easy to second-guess yourself after making a mistake then over-think your next attempt. In order to avoid over-thinking try the following:
Remind yourself you have practiced this skill successfully, or something similar, many times before. Trust in the fact that this practice off getting it right matters much more than one time getting it wrong.
Make a clear, simple plan for yourself. In this case I decided to focus on two things: maintaining a good balance in the tack, and riding encouragingly to the jump. I kept it simple and just focused on those two things, trusting my body to take care of the rest.
I’m happy to report the rest of the ride was great!
A fall doesn’t have to derail your confidence. Following these simple process allows your to take control of your reaction to the event and positively influence the outcome. It turns the fall into a positive learning opportunity.
To finish, notice what I did not do.
I did not beat myself up by telling myself I was an idiot. Instead I accepted what happened and didn’t allow it to define me.
I did not give into my ego and wallow in embarrassment. Instead I regulated my emotions with some deep breaths and a smile, and the got to work deciding what to do next.
I did not replay the fall over and over again in my head, instead I created an intentional, positive focus by directing my brain to think about helpful things.
If you’ve been struggle to recover mentally after falls or other mistakes, I can help! Click here to get in touch.